A Tale of Magnetism

Once upon a time there was a Big Bang, or so the story goes. Then there was lots of gas. And some of the gas condensed into balls that were suns or stars. And then some other gas broke away and cooled down into big round bar magnets. One of these magnets was called Earth.

Then on this earth there came a sheep. And another. And yet another. And so a multitude, with considerable speed. (There came also rabbits, in even greater numbers, but that's a different story).

Now in the beginning (contrary to popular opinion) the sheep were solitary individuals, each taking a different path, spreading out over the landscape in a disordered fashion. This was a problem for the people because it made the sheep difficult to find. And kill. And Eat.

So one day a Decree was issued: a great reward promised to the person who could bring the sheep together, to follow all in the same path forever more. This feat was to be known as Herding.

The first to try was a boastful young man in his prime. "I will whip them into shape" said he, and the People nodded approvingly and the Bookies gave him odds on favourite. Unfortunately, at the time of the trials, he had laryngitis and lost his voice. "attention!" he croaked. A few of the sheep who were possessed of exceptional hearing paused and looked up, but the remainder, particularly those who were further away, continued about their business.

Next up was an older, seasoned farmer with some dogs who ran around and barked a lot. "Away to me, Shep" said the man. "Woof! Woof! Woof!" screamed the dogs. There could be no doubt that even the deafest sheep could hear the noise. Unfortunately, none of them could understand a word. Some of the sheep (about half) took an educated guess and began walking towards the farmer. The rest headed as fast as they could in the opposite direction.

Then came a pig who thought he was a dog…but that's another story, with a sequel.

Finally came an aged crone, who many claimed was a witch. She turned to the people and said: "Before I do this, there is a price. If I am to lead these sheep straight onto your dinner plates, then it is Just that some of you shall be Made Vegetarian." The People readily agreed, for they did not understand what that meant. "So be it" said she. Raised her arms. Uttered a piercing cry. Winked at her accomplice in the crowd, who had a box of matches ready. And then a huge wall of fire sped out across the earth encircling all the sheep in the land. The flames were fearful hot and bright, and spoke to the sheep of the terrors of pork chop and kebab. Which is to say; the old woman got their undivided attention. "Sheep! Listen to me!" she called in a passable approximation of their language. "You must gather together as one, follow me and do not stray and I will lead you from the fire." The sheep did as they were bidden. And from that day until this, where a shepherd goes, the sheep will follow, always together in the same direction.

And the moral of the story is: the stronger the shepherd, the greater the herding instinct and the greater the herding instinct, the easier to find the sheep.

© Wildcat Winnie 2000